Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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