Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
