nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
