Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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