I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
