Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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