things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
