The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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