no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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