I am full of burrito and curiosity
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
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