i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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