What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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