So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
