I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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