Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
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