I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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