I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
it glows. i had to have it.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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