if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
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