where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
