I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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