Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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