Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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