Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
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