Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
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