sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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