PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
