I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Randomize
