There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I just want to make out with him forever
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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