trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I could fuck to npr.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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