what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
