I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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