Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
