You smell like a Billy Joel song
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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