my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Be still, my beating vagina.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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