I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
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