Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
