It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
