Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
