Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
