We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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