Christians are straight up FREAKS
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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