I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Randomize
