the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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