he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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