that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
