One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Randomize
