Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
