I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
