Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
