so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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