Tell her she can't have a vagina
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Randomize
