That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I supernannyed him into submission
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
