Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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