so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
